Why I Pray In The Shower

There are times when I wish I could go back in time and spend a day with my family when we were all much younger. Although we have always loved each other and spend time together today when we can, I wasn’t always there for my son and daughter when they were growing up, or my wife when she needed me to be. Not because of a job or a divorce, but because of drinking. Thankfully, I’ve been sober almost 14 years now and certainly there for them today if they need me, but I still cry when I hear this song.

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Tags: Diamond Rio, family, gratefulness, one more day, regrets

If you liked the introduction to my book, click the link below and read what I wrote in the beginning of Chapter11.

Sneak Peek of Chapter 11 “Why I Believe What I Do”

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Tags: alcoholics anonymous, alcoholism, big bang theory, creating our path, Quantum Physics, twelve steps

I believe the only way we’re ever going to change the world for the better is to change what we think about ourselves and others. When we love and understand ourselves, we become happy with who we are. And when we try to love and understand another, we get along with them better.  When we’re happy with who we are it becomes much easier to get along with others, and this in itself would make a change in the world.

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Tags: chaging the world, getting along, love, understanding, understanding others

It can be hard for some of us to learn to love ourselves and to be happy with who we are. After I first got sober, it took me awhile to get over the hate and anger I felt towards myself for the things I did in my drinking days, and even then, it was still hard to like myself some days. It took almost seven years of being sober before I began loving myself, and quite a few more years before I was happy with who I was, but the payoff was what I call having true happiness in life.  I realized early on in my sobriety though, that I never really loved myself even before I began drinking, and that there were other reasons why I liked drinking so much. With many types of addictions seemingly on the rise today, I began to wonder just how many people with addictions also never loved themselves.  I have maintained for a long time now that many alcoholics and drug addicts are really no different than anyone else, except that for one reason or another when they used drugs or alcohol it stuck.  The feeling they got from their drug of choice was so comforting that they wanted to do it again and again, and it quickly or slowly became an addiction. I believe there are more people then we think out there today using anything they can to find comfort and happiness in life, and I doubt they love themselves. People who from all outward appearances seem to be happy and have what looks like a perfect life, but are afraid to come forward and seek help because of the shame they feel.  Prescription drug abuse and addiction is starting to get a lot of attention these days as we hear more and more about people who use them to cope in life.  Then there are those who use sex, gambling, work, and even shopping to try and feel better in life and they too can become addicted.  These are known as process addictions, and again we are beginning to hear more and more about people who have them. There isn’t one perfect answer to why some people become addicted and others don’t.  However, to look at any kind of addiction today as being immoral or as a weakness of some kind is to be uneducated on the subject and wrong. I’ve read so much on the subject of addiction and there’s a lot of  great information out there so people can better understand it.  There is the disease concept that’s been around for a very long time and recent findings that people inherit various types of genes helps with that concept. Also, studies show our brain chemistry and even our brain itself changes not only through repeated drug and alcohol abuse, but through our repeated thought processes both positive and negative.  As more studies are done, I believe we will find more answers about addiction and hopefully end the stigma associated with it so more people get the help they need. But until then, let me tell you from personal experience that it takes a lot of courage for someone to seek help.  There is always some underlying cause for why someone becomes dependent on something in order to find comfort and happiness, and it also takes a lot of courage for someone to try and discover what the reason or reasons may be. Once they do though, they can move on and with help, learn to love themselves. I do realize , however, that there are people out there not addicted to anything who are unhappy in life and also never learned to love themselves. This tells me that it doesn’t matter whether someone’s an alcoholic or addict of any kind. What does matter is that they find and heal the cause of their discomfort and unhappiness in life, or as I sometimes call it, their pain.

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Tags: being happy with who we are, finding true happiness, self love, self worth, stigma of addiction