Why I Pray In The Shower

I wrote a lot about fear in my book,  but I thought I’d share something I read a long time ago in the literature of Alcoholics Anonymous that for one reason or another I didn’t include in my book. It basically suggested that we were afraid we wouldn’t get something we wanted or that we would lose something we already had. I like this because it is a simple reason why some of us can feel fearful in our lives from time to time, especially considering how things seem to be today.  However, there is something else I read a long time ago that I did include in my book that has helped me many times in overcoming my fears and be happy in life. “The only cure that I have found for fear is faith.” I then added the following to it. Faith there is something rather than nothing that created the Universe and life for a reason. I call it God and I pray to it in the shower.  I am beginning to believe more and more that however you choose to define it, faith is needed to be less fearful today and to be happier in our lives.

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Tags: faith, finding happiness, Happiness

I’ve heard people who while apologizing for something bad they said to someone during an argument, say things like. “I guess my ego just got the best of me and that’s why I acted the way I did. ” Or. ” Yeah, my pride and ego has always been a problem for me, and I need to get it under control” As a matter of fact in some of the AA literature, “Pride and Ego” is mentioned as something many Alcoholics have way too much of and is said to be the cause for some of the difficulties they face in life.  While I would never dispute that pride and ego has caused some of my own difficulties in life and much of the unhappiness I’ve experienced. It wasn’t until I began working on overcoming the many fears and insecurities I felt about myself and life in general, that I was able to see how it was actually those things that were behind the prideful and egotistical behaviors I exhibited. I also knew if I ever wanted to stop behaving in that manner and be happier in life,  I needed to continue overcoming my fears and insecurities. I did this by using the tools of prayer, people, and hope and by believing in a creator I call god. Today I simply remind myself of who I am and who I am not, and try to practice some level of humility in my day to day affairs. As a result, I experience less fears and insecurities, have very few self created difficulties in life, and feel much happier. I can also say that today I have a true sense of ego and a more appropriate pride in myself. However, I will add that  if it weren’t for all the times when my fears and insecurities caused me to act out in the prideful and egotistical ways I did, I wouldn’t know the difference between having a false sense of ego or a true one.

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Tags: happy with self, overcoming fear, self love, self worth, strength, true happiness

It took a lot of different experiences in my sobriety for me to achieve the level of self-confidence I have today, but there are still some situations when I can feel a lack of confidence or assurance and begin to experience self-doubt. In those times however, I use the inner strength I have today to assure myself that everything will be all right and remind myself how it was actually unwanted and adverse circumstances that helped me to become a stronger person in the first place. It’s so wonderful to feel good about yourself when all you felt most of your life was inferiority around most people. Although I often tried to cover up this feeling by pretending to be something I wasn’t and by drinking,  inside I knew the truth and as a result I was never truly happy.  So where did this self-confidence I’m talking about come from? Well first let me say that true self confidence doesn’t come through worldly achievements, but spiritual ones.  I believe that what ever created life and the Universe must have had a reason for it, and it is this basic belief that has been the foundation of both the spiritual and personal growth I’ve obtained over the last five years.  It’s these two types of growths combined that has filled me with the self-confidence to know that not only can I work through any insecurities I may feel, but also any fears.  Although people try to use things like job titles, fame, and wealth to give them a sense of self-confidence and self-esteem, many still remain insecure in they’re lives and some have glaring self-esteem issues. On the other hand, when someone tries to live by practicing a few spiritual principles like love, kindness, understanding, and tolerance,  they end up feeling a confidence and satisfaction in themselves that they never felt before. Even people who have made great strides in personal growth can be happier in life by giving spirituality a try.  Of course spirituality can mean having faith there really is something rather than nothing that created this life and our Universe for a reason, and it’s this belief that can be the hardest part for some people to grasp.  However, with much perseverance I found that as I continued to practice love, kindness, understanding, and tolerance, even though I often failed at it, I eventually couldn’t help but feel a confidence and satisfaction in myself, and an ever growing belief in a creator I call God.

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Tags: addiction, alcoholism, Darryl Duke, insecurities, self-confidence, self-esteem, why i pray in the shower

I wrote in my book how fears began in my childhood, grew in my teenage years, and stayed with me throughout my adult life, but thankfully through the twelve and a half years I’ve been sober I have been able to conquer these fears and have learned how to deal with and overcome any new ones.  Now most of these new fears are really just old ones that for one reason or another sometimes resurface and makes me unhappy, but because I’m aware they’re simply old fears it’s easy for me to quickly move past them.   Really when I think about it, the only new fears I seem to experience anymore come from doubts I sometimes have about whether or not my book, which will hopefully be published by April, will be successful enough to afford me the chance to go out and help others at the level I want to.  Fortunately as I said earlier, I’ve learned how to deal with and overcome new fears,  but there are days when I need help.  On those days I pray to what I believe is the Creator of life and the Universe to give me guidance and reassurance and thank it for everything in my life. Then despite this fear caused by doubt, I go about my day and wait for this Creator I call God to give me this guidance and reassurance through what some people would call a sign.  It is these signs that I began calling “non coincidences” several years ago,  that come sooner or later through a song I haven’t heard for awhile that holds some special meaning to me, a magazine article that I feel I was meant to read, or through an informative tv show of some type that do indeed give me the feeling I’m on the right track with what I want to do in life.  However,  most times these “non coincidences” happen by a chance meeting with a person I know or a total stranger, who during a simple conversion with them will inevitably say something that gives me the guidance and reassurance I prayed for, and carries much more meaning to me. It is through other people that I have learned to have hope. And through prayer that I have come to believe there is something rather than nothing that created this life and our Universe for a reason. It has been these tools of prayer, people, and hope that have not only kept me sober, but has contributed to the happiness I cherish so much today. Without them I don’t know what I would have done when the doubts and fears I felt throughout my sobriety, especially early on,  almost conquered and overcame me.

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Tags: addiction, alcoholism, Darryl Duke, faith, fear, why i pray in the shower