Unconditional Love
Thursday, December 29th, 2011The first hint I had that I was beginning to love myself unconditionally was in 2007. For years into my sobriety, I would beat myself up whenever I didn’t behave in a kind or tolerant manner toward someone in certain circumstances, especially my wife. I wrote about learning to love myself unconditionally in my book and of my hope to love others the same way. Much has happened since my book went off to the editor in 2008, and all of it has helped me to come closer to fulfilling my goal. As a matter of fact, there are some people in my life that I can honestly say I put no conditions on when it comes to loving them. My son and daughter are two of these people, and although my mother passed away in June of this year, I loved her, and still love my father unconditionally as well. As far as my wife goes, I like to say she is my last hurdle at learning to love others unconditionally. I honestly do try to find something to love in everyone I meet; however, it’s much easier to love a person unconditionally when you’re not around them all the time. Of course there are those people who have done horrible things that I don’t love, but I try not to hate them because it hurts me emotionally and spiritually. Hate is a strong word for me, but there was a time when I actually hated myself for some of the things I did in my drinking days. Fortunately in my sobriety as I begin to see myself as a good person I would eventually love myself, and it became easier to love others as well. Today my behaviors are on par with my belief of practicing love, kindness, understanding, and tolerance toward others, but I have had my bouts with anger and resentment recently. The important thing through this time, however, was that although I felt the way I did, I also practiced love, kindness, and understanding toward myself. I simply remembered my behaviors weren’t who I was, and how important forgiveness is. There was still no excuse for my behaviors as a result of my anger and resentment, but I truly believe if I hadn’t maintained an unconditional love for myself, the anger and resentment would have been far worse. It was by loving myself that I began to love others, and I now believe it was through loving myself unconditionally that I was able to make advancements in loving other unconditionally too. As I said though, a lot has happened since 2008, but all of it helped me see where I need to grow and be the person I say I am.
Tags: loving ourself, personal growth, spiritual growth, unconditional love
