Why I Pray In The Shower

I know that life can take its toll on us sometimes because it has on me occasionally. There have been times even recently when I felt like packing it all in and saying the hell with everything. The thing is I didn’t. Although I did dwell in some negative emotions and let certain fears and insecurities affect me, I kept trying to find balance and meaning in my life.  Balance first, and meaning later. Balance is a mental steadiness or emotional stability; habit of calm behavior and judgment, and I believe in using the tools of prayer, people, hope, and self-talk to help me regain that balance. However, regaining meaning to my life is sometimes harder. Meaning can be defined as the end, purpose, or significance of something, and even with what I’ve accomplished so far in my life, I can still feel unfulfilled and without purpose at times. I can use the tools I mentioned to help me figure out why I’m feeling the way I do, but this doesn’t work as easily as it does in restoring balance back in my life. Stepping out on faith, and not giving up before seeing the results of our efforts to realize our purpose in life seems to be the answer. For example, my purpose is to help others. It’s just sometimes when my life gets out of balance, I can temporarily forget that faith and helping others is what gives my life meaning.

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Tags: emotional balance, meaning in life, overcoming adversity, why i pray in the shower

The phrase “my life flashed right before my eyes” came to mind as I was getting ready to write this post. The reason it came to mind is that right before I was ready to sit down and begin writing, I happen to walk by my wife’s open laptop and saw her screen saver running. She has it set to slowly display one picture at a time of all the friends and family we’ve shared time with over the years at different events and holidays.  As I stood there watching each picture go by, I began to cry as the many pictures of our children and grandson would momentarily appear and then give way to the next.  It made me realize more than ever how quickly time goes by and reinforced my feelings of how important it is to live our lives in the moment, especially when we’re with those we love. I honestly do try to live my life one moment at a time which is how I also live it one day at a time.  I first heard the phrase “living one day at time” in AA and although it was quite hard for me to do throughout my sobriety, looking back now, I was doing it most days without even realizing it. Each day did involve thoughts of past and future events, but meetings and talks with people in AA would help me to redirect my thinking of remorse for past incidents and worries about the future and try to be as happy as I could at the time.  Even today there are occasions when I feel some regrets from the past, or I begin to worry about something that hasn’t even happened yet, but I know how to handle these feelings today. If there is one thing I’ve learned about living one day at a time, it’s to try as hard as I can not to let the little things bother me in life, and not be afraid of whatever adversity may come my way.  Although unwanted events and circumstances have been a part of my sobriety, I have always gotten stronger from them. This often involved using the tools of prayer, people, hope, and self-talk to help me get through them, and those tools have never failed me. Today, I experience very few problems in my life, but if I do, I try to look at it as an opportunity to grow.  I admit it can be hard to do this, and I’m not saying I don’t experience fear and insecurity in those times, but I can say I experience it much less than I use to. I simply remember how quickly time goes by and that our time here is short. I also remember a quote I read several years ago. –”There are two kinds of worry–those you can do something about and those you can’t. Don’t spend any time on the latter.”–As far as past regrets go; I have made my amends to people I hurt, and today I try not to do things that I will have to make amends for. I’ve made great strides in becoming a better person than I was before which I also did one day at a time, and this in itself helps me to live in the moment and to be grateful for my life and those in it that I love so much.

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Tags: alcoholics anonymous, family, living in the moment, living one day at a time, love

As I grow older there may be times when I experience a few more aches and pains than I use to and I can accept this. However, I don’t have to accept any emotional pains I may experience.  I’ve learned that although there are times when someone may hurt me by something they say or do, I don’t have to stay hurt.  This is because not only have I grown older, but I’ve also grown bolder in my love for others.

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Tags: bravery, courage, emotional growth, emotional pain, growing older, growth

Know anyone who lives up to the idiom “Fly by the seat of one’s pants?“ It’s basically a person who isn’t afraid to do something even though they don’t have the experience or training required to do it.  I do, and like to think of myself as someone who flies by the seat of my pants when it comes to facing different fears and insecurities in my life.  However, at one time I was the type of person who flew by the seat of my emotions and know quite a few people who still do.  These people seem to always let whatever emotions they’re feeling at the time, whether it’s happiness, sadness, anger, worry, ect… affect their behaviors and sometimes their actions towards others. Usually this is because they’ve done this all their lives and never practiced restraint or felt a need to change the way they behave. Mostly these types live in the extremes of happiness or the negative emotions they feel over their immediate circumstances. It took me a long time to stop “living” by the seat of my emotions and simply begin living life, but eventually through practice and help from others who would point out my often erratic and sometimes hurtful behavior’s, I found an emotional balance that has served me quite well over the years.

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Tags: behaviors, emotional balance, emotions, fears, fly by the seat of one's pants, Happiness, insecurities, negative emotions